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Saturday, June 04, 2005

HobbyLobby

Am I coming in clear ? Can you hear me ? ... I can hear you... Now that we have that settled.. let's proceed... Where have I been for 2 weeks ? I will tell you... I have been here in ClarkGanistan... search for it on google.... to some it is known as Clarkstonia to others... it is simply known as Wonkaland.... The subject of this blog is I need a new hobby... I will tell you what I do now to occupy my time and feel free to enlighten me onto healthy or unhealthy alternatives..
  1. Staring at my toenails...... then peeling them off and pouring hotsauce in my gaping toe wounds and then sealing them up with peanut butter and nutella...
  2. Shaving my tounge when I run out of toothpaste... cheaper than buying toothpaste... we always keep old hairy razors around the place..
  3. Making strange faces for 2 minutes at a time... always 2 minutes .. NEVER 3.. NEVER 3...
  4. Shuffle imaginary cards....
  5. Do common things around the house like sweeping the floor and then proceeding to turn the act into some type of interpretive dance.... you should really see my dance called sweep the floor.... I think I have latin hips cuz they can shake... that's hot...
  6. Coming up with new catch phrases to say whenever anyone says anything... ones from the past have been: That's Hot... That's What She Said.... , YEAH YEAH, Kopfgaleschlagen (german) see Soap Dish...., I pulled my weiner, I love lamp, the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and then stop !!.....Hammertime
  7. Researching articles in the wall street journal extensively until my eyes twitch and bleed
  8. Stretching Out like a dog in the front door , so that when someone opens the door, I get hit in the head, and they scratch my belly and behind my ears...
  9. Making lightsabers out of popsicle sticks and cockroaches...
  10. Having slumber partys with the filthy cockroaches...
  11. Milking the little bitty tits on the disturbingly sexy cockroaches.
  12. Take long and hot applesauce baths...
  13. Stare at someone with a wierd face until I get them to get uncomfortable... then I pull up my draws.... and then put on my marmalade lotion... strange but true...
  14. Last but not least... the one that is begginning to scare me is when I dig a hole in the ground about the size of a ripe cantelope and tie my hands behind my back and stick my head in the fresh hole and reenact "The Lord Of The Dance"
This list you see is quite extensive and very normal for a person of my stature.... You might be asking yourselves if I was raised by a pack of wild donkeys in heat... and I will tell you that no I was not raised by wild donkeys in heat... but my stinky pinky finger was... Oh yeah... Don't whiz on the electric fence...

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